he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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