ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
Finally got with the virgin.
Yeah? Howd that go?
As soon as I got it all the way in, I looked deep into her eyes and said "your soul is mine" in the deepest voice I could make. She was not amused.
Randomize
