Plan B is the new Plan A
Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
The cab driver thought we were passed out so he called a sexline...
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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