I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
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