So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
So that wine I told you about is vile...
That the stuff you brewed in your dorm closet? Are you actually going to drink it?
Yup. It's drinkable. Might go blind, but I've got to use my chemistry minor for something.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
Randomize