just woke up. wallet empty. bottle empty. tattoo in pen on my arm. smell like bad sex. woke up alone. and wall-e is playing on my computer. need answers.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
He left a full handprint on my ass. He called it a "five-star review."
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
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