I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
His hands were made for my vagina.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
And apparently I was the one that started the drunken make out session that broke the window
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Randomize
