I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
Always fun waking up to 911 as your last dialed call.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Just wanted to say a big ole FUCK YOU for coming out to mom the day before I have to drive with her for 6 hours. Ass hat.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
