I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
I have absolutely nothing sober to say to you.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
The guy at the rodeo just told me "if ya don't say none, ya don't get none". What the hell does that mean?
Im pretty sure you just got hit on by a gay cowboy.....
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
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