dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I intend to get homeless drunk
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
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