where does the pee come out of this thing
all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
And dildos are 35% off. So. Ya know. Savings.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
Randomize
