a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
you're putting all your eggs in a very hungover basket
I'm watching Cheaper By The Dozen. I almost forgot that Hilary Duff was a really shitty actor before she was a really shitty singer.
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize