I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Better skin, bigger boobs.. Birth control is INCREASING my chance of getting pregnant because people actually want to have sex with me now.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
