I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
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