Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
I want you to know that wearing office supplies as jewelry results in waking up with the wrong roommate. Also, strip clubs and vodka don't mix.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
you kept insisting that i was jake gyllenhaal and you were heath ledger.
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
Oh yes. Made out with a grandmother..... she had fake boobs and it was 330am. That makes it okay.
Mardi gras at its finest.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
I have no idea. He was just running around wearing a horse mask yelling "bumfuck" repeatedly. We figured we'd just let him get it out of his system.
What's the worst that could happen? I'm already broke and my leg's already broken
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
