I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
That car ride home was pretty awkward. Your feeling up the girlfriend to the guy who's throwing up out the window. Thanks for that.
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
the fact that I've been his fuck buddy for a year, and I'm pregnant isn't bothering me. the fact that he didn't tell me about his girlfriend does.
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