okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
THERE IS A GOAT THERE IS A GOAT IN MY BED IT IS EATING MY THONG WHAT DID YOU DO
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
