We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
Best compliment ever: Being told that you really understand sex by a professional. After she gave you a HANDJOB.
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
