I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You spend 45 minutes trying to convince that pregnant girl you were with all night to have sex with you cause 'the worst had already happened.'
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Yes dating, but it seems easier to just live in a perpetual state of Netflix, internet porn, and cheese.
Randomize
