fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Ok so I could say "im sorry"...but instead ill just say "unsupervised...jager...military guys...green school bus called the juice box...and HUGE dick"
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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