Very drunk. laura says hi. i can't find my pants. i think i'm in philly, but it might be jersey somewhere
Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Somehow I became in charge of getting my mother laid? This can't be my life? Lol
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Randomize
