I wanna bring you to show and tell
'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
I'm going to pre plan my black out tonight. I think I'll set a change of clothes out on my bed and unplug the oven.
I just entered us to win a trip to Vegas for spring break. GET YOUR VAGINA READY FOR THE ULTIMATE DICK HUNT!
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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