I guess she didn't feel like it. There was hair all over it and everything
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
I would just like to go ahead and accept my slut of the year award.
It's like 10 times better than an Oscar
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
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