I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
You were riding my three year old's train yelling, 'I think I can, I think I can!!'
I thought I could.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If the guys trying to booty call text me could see me right now in some raggedy pajamas with toothpaste down the front of my shirt eating pepperoni out of the package they might change their minds
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
