Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
As I type I'm climbing my cousins swingset so I can take a nap inside the slide. Fuck this hangover. I always win.
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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