"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Beautiful wedding. Beautiful bride. I got shitfaced. Came home and ate two corndogs. I'm still single.
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
