Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
I'm drunk at McDonald's in a fairy costume at 10 am nearly two weeks after Halloween. I don't think the Ohio State fans get it.
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
It's national boyfriend day supposedly, would it be appropriate if I posted a picture of my dildo?
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
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