Skipping work because i'm still too drunk from last night still. got home at midnight and passed out in front of my door for 2 hours bc i couldn't find my key
had to call my rooommate to let us in. Passed out in my dress and found the key on my hair tie-in my hair- just now.
we made out on top of his cat.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There r osticjed everywhere
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
Randomize
