No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
Randomize
