Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
I've replaced you with thin mints and masturbation
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Randomize
