I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
It's only 9 and these two girls are already walking around Walmart barefoot and holding their heels. WE NEED TO STEP IT UP.
Randomize
