I solve my problems like an adult, at the strip club drinking on a work night.
he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
He showed up to fuck me at the same time the pizza guy did. It was like everything I needed just showed up at my stoop.
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Houston, we have a squirter
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Just rolled up a joint with a cop standing right beside me. He just told us to not leave behind any garbage or empties. God I love canadian camping
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
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