thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
She sucked her thumb until she was 17. It's like my dick was born to be in her mouth.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Virgins should have to wear a badge. This burden is too heavy...
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
You do realize he's just an extension of his penis, right?
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