Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
I sent him a picture of my touching myself. He responded back "Your nails look really nice"
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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