two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Half my face is frozen, my vagina is broken, I'm wearing only gym shorts eating a plate of mashed potatoes, avatar is on my tv. There's a naked guy on my couch whose name idk. I needa talk to you asap
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Randomize
