OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
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