Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I AM TEN TEQUIA SHOOTS ON AND I JUST SAW SOMEONE DO A BODY SHOT OFFF OF JESUS
THIS FEELS SO WROG AND OH SO RIGHT
Yknow what, if there is a thug life for white bitches, I'm living it. I went out on a date, watched howls moving castle with my brother till he passed out, then went and got some a+ dick, and made it home in time to take my mom to work. Now its 7am, I'm in bed with some free tacos, and when I'm done eating I'm going to sleep. What a great night.
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
