And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
You mailed him a break up letter, because you thought the "joy of receiving a letter" would ease the pain of you dumping him.
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
Last night I said "I'm so glad you broke up with your lesbian soccer mom girlfriend" I don't remember how he reacted I just remember trying to pee in the woods
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
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