maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
i think i was tempted to text while we were making out. like i remember holding my phone up behind his head and just staring at it.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Randomize
