Sober January is a disaster.
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
I woke up this morning next to a stack of saltines & a txt from u saying "do it." it took me a second to remember wat was going on
Your roommates boyfriend just approached me while I was working to tell me about the staph infection he got on his face. Where do you find these people?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Randomize
