at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
She said she didn't know what fireball was. We are no longer friends.
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
