A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He called us the '3 Amigos' and told us if hos ex wife came we had to jump the porch railing and hide in the bushes.
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
are you drinking tonight?
I have an exam tomorrow
so yes.
so i was about to call you for your birthday but then i started making out with this guy... and i feel bad but i felt like you'd understand
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Randomize
