Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
