theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
you could tell him that chauvinism doesn't go very well with his gay homemade tank top
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Hahahaaa There's this one girl crying hysterically and wrapped around (i believe) her ex's leg. He's trying to shake her off without spilling his beer. This is fucking priceless.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
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