Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
Randomize
