Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
I asked her why she named her vibrator Lorenzo and said it was the name she started screaming her first time.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
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