Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I just got a rock from a customer. Weirdest. Tip. Ever.
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