Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Whenever I said your name you screamed polo and did another shot.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize