I CAN MOONWALK!
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Who wrote Most Moistest Dad on my chest and what the fuck does it mean?!?
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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