Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
his recent searches consisted of "World record for not bathing" and "Miley Cyrus vs Taylor Swift". Not even i am that desperate.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I'll be honest. I knew what I was getting into. I'm not proud, but I'll be damned if I'm ashamed. 6 month draught is over. That's justice.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
