There is no way he is gay with that hair.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Just because I'm sleeping with him doesn't mean I'm in love with him, it means that I want to have sex with someone who isn't a serial killer.
Randomize
