The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
So...I know we have a conversation later this week. But one of the key things I want to know is if I can specify having my body mummified and buried in Egypt (or at least nearby the Luxor in Vegas). How much money do you think that would cost? Do I need to increase my life insurance policy?
Randomize
