I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
How bad is it that I'm banned from all of your family functions due to sleeping w/ both your brother and sister and they both hate me for pursing a relationship with either of them.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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