Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
It has to be really easy to get midgets drunk.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
When you mimic motorboating Jennifer Love Hewitt, is it really that hard to understand why no one thinks you're straight?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
